In the past, most parents took their kids to church, ensured they got a good education, and assumed they were ready to leave the nest. I think over the last decade parents are becoming increasingly aware that they need to be more intentional about how they prepare their kids to face the world. Here are 10 things your kids need to have a firm grasp on before leaving home:
Why they can trust the Bible This is absolutely foundational. From the college classroom to friends they will meet to social media posts, your child will be inundated with reasons why they can’t trust the Bible. And they will be taught that the Bible doesn’t even say what honest Bible scholars have said it means for thousands of years. Your kids need to know how we got the Bible. They need to know how it fits together. They need to clearly see the one unifying message that runs through it.
How to study the Bible for themselves It is great that your kids love to go to church. It’s great that they may even have a favorite pastor whose books reador whose sermons they listen to. But do your kids know how to study the Bible for themselves? Do they understand the different types of literature in the Bible? Do they understand the literary cues that tell you that a section is not meant to be taken literally? So many misinterpretations come from people saying things like, “Well you can’t expect the creation account to be taken literally.” Show me anywhere in the Bible that there is an indication that it was not intended as a historical fact. Jesus quoted it as fact. There is no phrase that says, “The way God created the world was AS IF God spoke it into existence.” or “Moses told a story that tells us some lessons we can learn about creation.” Jesus was very clear when he was telling a story (parable) that we are supposed to learn some lessons from and when He was talking about something that actually happened. Do your kids know where to find great language tools to investigate the words of Scripture? Do they understand context? Do they even know that the chapters and verses were added later? Do they realize the Psalms are all separate Psalms, so they are not chapters in a book?
How to defend the historical facts of Jesus’ life and resurrection The central apologetic issue that your kids need to be prepared to defend is the resurrection of Jesus. Everything else stems from that. If Jesus rose from the dead, we can trust everything He says. He validates the whole Old Testament. He validates the creation account. And the people that He appointed to carry His message have His authority. Your kids need to be able to articulate the fact that the disciples would not have died brutal deaths for something they knew was not true. They need to be able to talk about the idea that if the Gospel writers were going to make up the resurrection, they wouldn’t have claimed that women were the first witnesses. They need to be able to talk about how early these accounts of Jesus were circulating, leaving no time for legend to be embellished (within the lifetimes of the witnesses).
They need to know that they have a personal relationship with Jesus and not just know about Him. One of the biggest dangers of growing up in church is that you can easily just adopt the Jesus culture without actually starting a relationship with Jesus. I often talk about coming into a relationship with Jesus like coming into a marriage relationship. There is a moment when you first become aware of the person. Then you become interested in that person. Then you get to know more about the person. Then you begin to feel something for that person. Then you get engaged. You have mentally decided that this person is the one. But you still haven’t taken that step of marriage commitment. That’s where many who grow up in church get stuck. They know a ton about Jesus. They feel a little something. They even would fight you over the fact that He is the one way to heaven. But they have never taken the step of going all-in and committing their lives to Him. Be careful when your kids first start expressing interest in “getting saved.” Make sure they weigh what it means to not just agree with Jesus and pray a prayer, but commit their lives to Him.
What the Bible says about the big cultural issues I see so many Christians who don’t think biblically about cultural issues. They buy into what the world is telling Christians they should think instead of actually studying what the Bible says. Your kids need to know what the Bible says about abortion, LGBTQ issues, the environment, self-defense, immigration, feminism, and a host of other topics. If you don’t point your kids to the truth on these issues, these issues will be used to draw your kids away from their faith. My book “Christ in Culture” is a great resource for these conversations.
What Marxism is, how it presents itself, and why it is not biblical Marxism is one of the most dominant worldviews in our culture right now. Universities are full of it. It is the philosophy behind BLM, White Fragility, the LGBTQ movement, and the attack on Western civilization. Many Christians are led astray by appeals that are founded in Marxism. “We should be concerned about the oppressed.” However, Marxism does not define oppression the same way the Bible does. Neil Shenvi’s book “The Critical Dilemma” and Mark Levin’s book “American Marxism” would be good sources.
Why evolution is not true and how it conflicts with the Bible Evolution was perhaps the first biblical worldview-busting philosophy promoted in modern history. When it was first promoted, Christians did not have scientific answers for what was being proposed. Many Christian scholars like C.I. Scofiled chose to force Scriptural interpretations like the “Gap Theory” into the Genesis account. Since then, we have a ton of scientific research that shows the fallibility of Darwin’s theories. Compromising on the creation account lays a faulty foundation for the rest of Scripture. If we got here by millions of years of death and struggle, then death came long before Adam and Eve could have sinned. That means death would not be the result of sin, thus we don’t need someone to die for our sins. It is important that your child understand that evolution is not good science and have a biblical view of creation. Following Answers in Genesis will point you in the right direction.
What the Bible says about sex I’ve referenced it a few times already, but your kids need to have a biblical understanding of sex and gender. Right now this is where the cultural battle is being fought. Your kids need to hear the strange arguments that are being made and have a thorough biblical explanation of those positions. Progressives are becoming more and more cunning in the way they re-explain Bible passages and assure their followers that the Bible doesn’t actuallycondemn immorality. Again, I cover many of those arguments in “Christ in Culture.”
How to influence others spiritually Train your kids to lead others spiritually and expect them to start leading others at a young age. Teach them how to have profitable spiritual conversations with people who disagree with them. This causes them to put their faith into practice. It is not enough that they know the right things and go to church. They need to be leaders! If they are leaders, you don’t have to worry about what they will follow.
How to find a church and use their gifts One of the things parents never discuss with their children is how to find a church. If your child is going away to college they will need to find a church while they are there. I don’t recommend kids finding a church of their own if they are staying at home. This just disconnects them from lifelong relationships and people who can speak into their lives. By the time they are graduating from high school, they should have some idea of what their gifts are and how they enjoy using them in the context of a church. Talk to your kids about the fact that you can’t recreate your home church somewhere else. Talk about the fundamental things they should be looking for. You may scan several church websites in the area with them and talk through what you see. The doctrine should be right, the leadership should be right, and the overall emphasis of the church should be right. However, the programs and methods they use may be different than what they grew up with. God may use their college church to push them in a new way. We used to think that kids often just don’t get connected to a church in college, but when they get a job and get married they will settle back into the habit. Today, that is often not the case. They get in the habit of not going during college and never pick the habit back up again. College can be a difficult time. Often students need advice and counseling during that time. Being connected to the right church can make all the difference when they need help. Make sure your kids understand that when they need serious help or advice, listening to people their own age might not be the best. Turning to someone who knows the Bible and has some life wisdom would be much better.
Every one of these points heads off major problems that I’ve seen college students face. We have to be more intentional about discipling our kids in the right direction today because the world has a very intentional agenda for them and blasts them with that agenda every day on social media.
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